i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
