I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
