if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
