I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
