my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Did I show you my penis last night?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
