Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
