You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
