I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
