I am puke
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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