Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
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