So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
