No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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