yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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