I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
