She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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