we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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