My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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