i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
