Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Still dying that you shit outside
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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