Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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