how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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