Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you would pick up someone in the library
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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