so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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