just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
