And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
