FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
