You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
