Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Define "chronic" masturbator.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
