Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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