I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you would pick up someone in the library
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just want to make out with him forever
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
