tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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