His pubic hair was longer than his dick
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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