I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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