Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
