I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Boobs are out for the taking
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
