the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
