i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
