lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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