wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
