he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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