you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
