you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
