I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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