I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
