and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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