I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
