She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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