Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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