Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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