My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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